Mel,
I have a tale of woe to tell today.
Before I'm finished you're going to think I'm stupid. But fear not, for I have since wizened up.
Our last house had a small basement apartment that we rented to a woman named Lydia.
Lydia was neither particularly sharp nor reliable, but for about four years she got us that rent check on the first of every month without fail.
Then she lost her job. And she wanted to know, was there anything she could do for us in lieu of the money?
By then business was good, and a few hundred bucks a month wasn't going to kill us.
So we gave her some jobs. She would do babysitting when we needed it (very convenient when the babysitter lives downstairs and is available pretty much anytime), clean our house every week, and hand address envelopes with her lovely handwriting—literally an in-house mail shop.
This worked OK for awhile.
Then the situation began to S-L-I-D-E downhill...
As it happened, Lydia wasn't the greatest babysitter.
She was also a sloppy house cleaner, but Laura doesn't like to nitpick.
And while she did OK with the envelopes, Lydia was 100% computer illiterate. So I still had to handle the data entry, cover letter printing, and other order-fulfillment tasks.
Finally I outsourced the shipping to a real mail house—what a relief.
Only now Lydia wasn't pulling her own weight. The babysitting and the mediocre house cleaning was certainly not equal to the rent she had stopped paying us.
Micromanaging Lydia into a model of productivity was also not worth my time.
If you think firing a deadbeat employee is tough, try dealing with one who's taken up residence under your roof.
We rationalized, "Lydia isn't as capable as we are, she has a hard time holding down a job, let's just be kind and generous and let things go."
Then the strange charges hit our credit card statement—two for take-out pizza and one trip to Olive Garden.
That was the last straw. As if it wasn't enough that we were giving Lydia free rent in exchange for a few easy odd jobs, now she's stealing our money to wine and dine on Italian?
When we confronted her, she sobbed that she's so ashamed of herself, how could she do such a terrible, stupid thing, she'll do anything to make this up to us.
"Lydia, we forgive you. But I think it's time for you to find a new place to live. I want you to be out by the end of the month."
It took almost 2 more months (and a threat of police involvement) before Lydia was finally out of our lives.
In hindsight, I was as much to blame in this situation as Lydia was.
My hiring criteria for Lydia was "can fog a mirror." She wound up in a role that was completely unsuitable for her.
And as Lydia taught me, this is a costly mistake—expensive in time AND money.
These days, I don't hire anyone without making them jump through a few hoops first. I require candidates to send me their Marketing DNA score. Often I'll start them off with a small project as an "audition."
And more and more my go-to source for freelancers and contractors is Marketers 24/7.
The marketers on M24/7 have already jumped through hoops.
They're familiar with how we do things in Planet Perry. Many have already posted their Marketing DNA score right in their profile, so you know right away how they mesh with your strengths and weaknesses.
I've used M24/7 to find volunteers, barter for services, and straight up hire contractors, and I'm continually impressed with the quality of the people who apply.
If you HAVEN'T taken advantage of Marketers 24/7 yet, go there today.
It's free.
Carpe Diem,
Perry Marshall
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